It's not a surprise with all of the delightful fast food favorites; pizza with friends, and other food-consuming activities. Certainly we know the other side of weight control - anorexia nervosa and bulimia. This is a very scary problem for any parent. So, how do you help your teenager lose weight and keep a good self-image?
Obesity in young people has lifelong side effects. For one, if your child carries most of his/her weight in the upper abdomen, there is a very good chance they will develop heart disease as adults; factoring that carrying around extra weight near the heart causes a strain to the heart. Also, diabetes, high cholesterol and other diet-oriented conditions may haunt your child into adult life.
As a teen, I was significantly overweight. At 5'1", I weighed 152 Lbs. My family doctor would make me feel bad about it, at times. I had a great deal of stress in my life at the time, and felt his comments were caustic, but cautious. He knew that I was headed for a difficult road, and tried to warn me before it became a problem. My weight wasn't always that important to me either. I didn't feel "huge" and I wore large clothes, so I was comfortable. I was not aware of my weight problem until one day when my mother was in the hospital having a minor procedure. I asked her how much she weighed when she was admitted, and she said 140 lbs. I now weighed 5 pounds more than my 47-year-old mother who had bore six children!! In addition, I was wearing a size 14 and in a D-cup bra. I have 5 sisters, and all of then weighed less than 115 pounds, so I knew this wasn't heredity's fault, either.
Naturally, I needed to accept the fact that I had a problem. So, at age 15, I went to my mother and said, "I need help to lose this weight". She took me to the doctor for a complete physical exam, blood work and a diet plan. I felt very afraid, as I stepped on the scale for my initial weigh in, and my weight had crawled up 5 more pounds than I thought it was. I was sure that if I didn't take control right away, I would become an obese adult, and subject myself to a lifetime of health problems.
The diet was very slow at first. I lost 2-3 pounds per month. The doctor wasn't thrilled either. I told him I was doing the best I could, and I think he finally realized it. I had a typical diet of the following: Breakfast: A bowl of high fiber cereal. Lunch: ½ of a sandwich and an apple. Snack: A cup of yogurt. Dinner: Meat and two vegetables. I started this plan in March 1980. I wasn't that great with it either. I felt sometimes like I had to eat candy with my friends to "fit in". The kids teased me about eating yogurt - (I went to Catholic School - sort of unbelievable, isn't it?). The kids also teased me about being fat, too, but I still had to continue.
The diet was progressing a little slowly, and then something wonderful happened. I transferred to the public high school that was very close to my home - 3 miles. I joined the after school aerobics program, and walked home from school each day. I also started riding my bike. Well, as you can imagine the weight started coming off a little faster. By graduation day in June 1983, I had gone from 152 pounds to 116 pounds!!!
It has been seventeen years, and I am pleased to say at age 35, I still weigh 116 pounds. I've fluctuated below this many times, but my body seems to like the 116 pounds! I do not even exercise as aggressively as I did before either!! I know it probably sounds like it took a long time for the weight to come off, but it was worth it. I never gained it back. Can we say this of the quickie diets we see today?
The best part of the diet experience was that I never developed an eating disorder or an unhealthy attitude about myself. For this, I credit my parents. My family NEVER commented on my weight. They knew I was having enough of a problem. My sisters were not allowed to tease me about my weight, which can also be a problem for teens. My weight loss was a regular part of my life for the next three years.
My mother had ways of showing her support, too: For Easter, we always got great big Easter baskets full of chocolate candy. I did get a little candy, but my mother also put make-up and gift items in my basket to make me feel good about myself. My family was so respectful and supportive, which is all I really ever needed to succeed as a child - and as an adult.
A doctor friend of mine recently told me his daughter was obese. I said, "Can you define your impression of obesity?" He said, "Yeah, she goes a good 30 pounds over normal. He continued, "Last weekend when I saw her (divorced parents), I told her she needed to stop eating so much and start losing that weight before it becomes a problem for her". Did I mention that he weighs well over 200 pounds, and is barely 5'4"? He also has flat feet because his arches have fallen from his own "belly"? Can you imagine? I don't even think he realized how ignorant he sounded, or how ironic that statement was coming from someone like him.
Some people think that telling a child to lose weight is not harmful. Maybe in some cases this is OK, but unfortunately, my doctor friend is not a good father, for a lot of different reasons. He doesn't spend a lot of time with her, and when he does, he crabs about her weight! This poor child will grow up thinking that he divorced her mother because she was fat!!
If your child has come to you with the decision to lose weight, here are a few tips that can help you both:
- DO try to find a diet that will allow your child to eat similarly to the other members of the family, so she doesn't feel like an odd ball!
- DO encourage your child to look beneath the surface. Remind her of the positive qualities she has. DON"T talk about her diet 24 hours per day. After all, this is a complete person dealing with friends, school and peer pressure.
- DO splurge now and then with a personal gift item such as make-up or perfume. After all, dieting and good eating habits are for life. It will offer your child an opportunity to make the most of her good qualities, too.
- DON'T let your child be exposed to people that you know are insensitive, or ignorant about weight loss and weight management - (i.e. Keep away from people like my doctor friend). I have heard comments from people outside my family that will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, if it is your mother-in-law who is insensitive, you could gently say something like, "Susan is trying to lose weight, but I would appreciate it if you didn't comment to her". This may get them thinking in a positive direction, too.
Finally, I want to say good luck to you terrific parents who will be embarking on this journey with your child. You will be the one who has the greatest affect on your child's self image. This is your best chance to make your child feel good and positive about all of the many wonderful things they are.
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